Throttle Blog

For those that don’t know what’s going on here, let me get you caught up…

Last week I posted that I would call the police and have them come save me from an armed intruder in my home. I did this to prove that guns are no longer needed in today’s society when we’ve got trained professionals here to protect you and your family from killers.

So here’s what happened…

Cops came. Took them only 12 minutes, they were responding to a hit-n-run down the road a mile or two, (a driver that took out a mailbox and bailed). They dropped it when they got the call from me. They spent about 30 minutes at/near my house, then left.

Came back an hour later with one of my (noisy, beer-can throwing out of the truck, obnoxious, tweaker looking) neighbors in the back of the car. Said they found him down the road with drugs/guns/money on him.

I’m trying real hard to keep a straight face, really I am…. I tell them I really can’t confirm the guys face because it was dark and I was scared. I suggested that they point the intruder’s gun at my fore-head with a flashlight shining in my face, and yell at me like the intruder was doing. That way, I’d be able to tell if that’s the gun or not. They wouldn’t do it, so I didn’t finger the guy.

Right after I told them to stick the gun in my face I started to smirk (trying to hold back laughing), and I was able to fake like I was getting all choked up, kind of starting to cry when I remembered the incident and how terribly traumatic it was.

When they finally left, all my neighbors standing around couldn’t figure out why I was laughing so hard, and I didn’t have the heart to tell them.

Bottom line, in 12 minutes, with them literally 2 miles away, I would have been dead, my family, dead.

I hope this servers as a lesson to all you readers out there that think you need guns to protect your family. You don’t. The police will be there for you…

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_{Disclaimer: This episode is fiction. It never happened. :p}